When I got accepted into college it was one of my most proud moments, sure they let just about anyone into Ivy Tech but still. I got in. I was accepted. I was the first person to go to college and I was extremely proud of that fact. I started the spring semester after I graduated. I went to classes and worked and was really enjoying it. I met a few new people, none of which I talk to anymore but that’s okay, and really enjoyed being in class and it being ok to be smart. In college, most people are there because they want to be there and that makes classes much more enjoyable. It was hard and the workload was stressful but it was worth it.
My last semester I slacked off, my priorities were very skewed aka a boy had me very distracted. He didn’t care that I was in college, he would rather me spend time with him or working to be able to afford to go do things and drive around. I missed a lot of classes and failed a lot of tests. I got put on academic probation. The next semester I tried to turn it around but I was in a new relationship with my now husband and was in the same predicament, distracted by a boy. I wanted to spend time with him and I knew our future was to be together and school just didn’t seem as important. I wasn’t doing well, I wasn’t interested in the classes so I just stopped going. My grades still suffered but I was off academic probation mostly because I had dropped the classes. The following year Colton and I got married in September.
The end of the year 2009 came, I filed my taxes, and very excitedly filled out my FAFSA. I was very close to finishing my degree and I was finally refocused on school with the support of Colton who was encouraging me to go and study instead of staying home with him. I got the devastating news that I was no longer covered under financial aid because we were married and I had to claim his income as well as mine and I didn’t get the benefit of being the child of a single parent making merely minimum wage.
I wasn’t able to attend because we were just starting out on our own and had a lot of expenses and no extra money to pay for me to go. I was really bummed but I was ok and thought that I would just work and go back when I could. I filled out the FAFSA another time and still didn’t get any aid.
Well here I am, its 2016 almost 7 years since my last college course and I have filled out the FAFSA one more time, anxiously awaiting the results. I am finally ready to continue me education. Mostly I want to finish what I have started but I am really nervous. I was on the website tonight and so many things have changed. I wonder how easy or difficult it will be to jump back in and pick up where I left off. You know the saying “If you don’t use it, you loose it” well I haven’t used my academic brain in quite some time. Simple math here and there. Some writing but mostly blogs and posts but nothing that is being graded. I am no longer the grammar queen anymore. I have forgotten many of the rules.
So I wonder, am I ready to further my education? I really am unsure. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up and that scares me. Really scares me. I’m going to be 28 this year. I know that it is never too late though and that I can do whatever I put my mind to. The one thing I am sure of is I have an entrepreneurial spirit even if I can’t spell the word without the help of spell check. I want to make my own money and be my own boss. I also want something that is a bit of a challenge but not impossible or a bad business decision. Time will tell and I am awaiting the results to find out how much, if any, money I get from financial aid. Then I will talk with a guidance counselor to find out the best course I should take with my big break in between semesters. If I have to retest or if I have to start over. I really don’t know, which is why I titled this post with a ?
Wish me luck!
Until next time!